Entry tags:
Self-censorship
When you think that your audience holds particular beleifs/opinions as sacred or taboo, it takes a certain bravery to say otherwise; you anticipate the verbal, social, or even physical response to speaking against the ideology of the crowd/authorities. And when you are fearful, due to personality or experience (up to and including trauma), how trivial a beleif or opinion you will hesitate to state gets pretty trivial; I have heard of physical violence in response to holding a different opinion on ice cream flavors.
So for me, caught between the Christian Fundamentalism I rejected and left, and the Social Justice ideology that I once sought to embrace as the moral way to live, which I quickly learned had become the prevailing ideology in many IRL and online social circles I had once dreamed of joining, I find it hard to speak my mind sometimes.
I hesitate, because I have seen friendships destroyed and physical violence offered by people I once wanted to call friends, because someone politely expressed a different opinion, in private.
And back in a journal format, fandom space, I am afraid. If I speak about LGBTQ issues, will I be attacked as a vile, worse than a homophobe enemy if someone scrolls back and sees slash? Will I be attacked for being a bisexual married to a bisexual, but in outwardly het relationship? (Probably). Will anything but a mindless hybrid of toothless liberal Feminism (now with 20% more female CEOs and STEM workers!) and Social Justice race and gender politics, which due to accident of birth I am extremely poorly positioned irt.
So for me, caught between the Christian Fundamentalism I rejected and left, and the Social Justice ideology that I once sought to embrace as the moral way to live, which I quickly learned had become the prevailing ideology in many IRL and online social circles I had once dreamed of joining, I find it hard to speak my mind sometimes.
I hesitate, because I have seen friendships destroyed and physical violence offered by people I once wanted to call friends, because someone politely expressed a different opinion, in private.
And back in a journal format, fandom space, I am afraid. If I speak about LGBTQ issues, will I be attacked as a vile, worse than a homophobe enemy if someone scrolls back and sees slash? Will I be attacked for being a bisexual married to a bisexual, but in outwardly het relationship? (Probably). Will anything but a mindless hybrid of toothless liberal Feminism (now with 20% more female CEOs and STEM workers!) and Social Justice race and gender politics, which due to accident of birth I am extremely poorly positioned irt.
